My alter ego

I don’t like labeling. I am sure many of you have the same problem as I do: you’re inbetweeners. Whenever there’s a personality category to fit into, say, introvert/extrovert, melancholic/phlegmatic/sanguine/choleric, you don’t really fit into any.

As I keep saying, world is just not black and white. Life is just not that simple. People are just not that simple. I believe there are different temperaments within each of us, and even though I do not feel comfortable with criticising Hippocrates and his categorization, it just cannot be applied to everybody.

As for me, I like to say I am an extrovert with an introverted heart. I think my love for people and their company doesn’t allow me to become a full time introvert as I would probably die of loneliness. On the other hand, I feel nervous when I’m surrounded with people for much too long and I need to escape into my world.

However, my two personalities were kind of causing me trouble. Here’s an example: I am 100% sure that if people who know only my extroverted side knew I was writing romantic poetry, they probably wouldn’t take it seriously. In fact, if they knew I was doing anything serious, I think they just wouldn’t believe it comes from the heart, maybe they would think I’m playing at something I am not. This is what I really hate about labeling people. I said this hundred times, we’re just not ONE OR THE OTHER. We might be both. Or neither.

For this reason, I decided to create an alter ego. A person who exists only within me, but is unknown to the people who know my physical self. I have been really happy for the last few months for I have been writing a lot and realised this is the only thing in the world I want to be doing. So I decided that Katka will be writing commercial texts – the ones I do at work – for money and Primula will be writing just for pleasure. Katka is the extrovert nobody takes seriously and Primula is a thoughtful, sensitive, emotional and introspective being without a physical body, for she lives inside someone else.

All in all, I created Primula to put a name to my introverted self. And switching between personalities feels so good. When I want to be her, I switch my computer account, instagram account, close the doors of my study and focus only on her thoughts and feelings.

If you want to, you can check her poems.

Keep writing and dreaming up wonderful stories. ❤

Love,
Katka

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