Pleasure and pain

“The man of power is ruined by power, the man of money by money, the submissive man by subservience, the pleasure seeker by pleasure.” – Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf

Just something to think about. Because there’s no pleasure without pain.

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Other love

My heart is broken to thousand pieces.
My lungs heavy as stones in my chest.
My pride buried three feet underground.
My dreams don’t let me sleep at night.

Each new day hurts more than the last.
Each meal is a battle rather than feast.
Each breath is a triumph to stay alive.
Each word hard to utter to make a sound.

…And I’m the one who hasn’t loved?

I am

“For there is not a single human being, who is so conveniently simple that his being can be explained as the sum of two or three principal elements; and to explain so complex a man as Harry by the artless division into wolf and man is a hopelessly childish attempt. Harry consists of a hundred or a thousand selves, not of two. His life oscillates, as everyone’s does, not merely between two poles, such as the body and the spirit, the saint and the sinner, but between thousand and thousands.”

Hermann Hesse – Steppenwolf

I am Harry Haller. An average Steppenwolf who has all sorts of personalities inside of him.

I am good, and bad. I lie, I tell the truth. I love company, but I often long for solitude. At times I go mad but I can be as tame as a lamb. I can be rude as hell when I want to, but I know my manners. I’m a saint, I’m a sinner. I scream. I’m as quiet as a mouse. I cry, I laugh. I am shy, I dance all night. I’m a lady, but a child as well. I love, but I hate sometimes. I make mistakes. Lots of them. I am a teacher, but I still learn. You will love and hate me.

I am all that.

And I am sorry for what I am sometimes.

Katka

But the world is not black & white. The world is not divided into good people and bad ones. Into believers and faithless, into liars and truthtellers.

We all have dark and light sides to us. The good and the bad. We’re imperfect. And imperfect is human.