It’s the last day of 2015.
It’s nearly 8 pm, I can hear firecrackers exploding outside of my house, music playing from somewhere close by. I am at home, drinking white wine and I have just put on my little black dress, black tights and stilettos. I might even wear a red lipstick to give it a bit of a dramatic look. But if you think I’m getting ready for a party or awaiting visitors you’re far from the truth.
By unfortunate series of events it so happened that I am celebrating the New Year’s Eve completely on my own. Yes, home alone. You’re probably now wondering why the dress and high-heels? Just because. Even alone, one simply shouldn’t welcome the new year in pyjamas.
Funny enough, this situation, given it all seemed at first that after many years this will be the first New Year’s that I’m actually gonna enjoy (it was supposed to be a party for two).
I hate New Year’s Eves. I might have mentioned it before on here… And I think New Years Eve hates me back. I can hardly think of a New Year’s that didn’t ended a catastrophe. One year, we got in a fight with my ex-boyfriend and he kicked me out of his flat and I walked a couple of kilometres back home in tears in the cold night. Another year, I got horribly drunk at 10 and slept over the entire night, waking up early in the morning sick as hell. And another year, when me and my friends were coming back from a party we got attacked by some half-wits and my friend got beaten up. These are just highlights, but literally none of the nights was something to remember with a smile on my face. None.
This year’s one had some potential. But…. miracles rarely happen. No, no, me and NYEs simply don’t go well together.
But even when I ended up partying with myself this year, maybe, just maybe that’s the reason why I’ll enjoy it. No pressure to have fun, look stunning, drink one after one, celebrate the way everyone expects you to celebrate…
This is probably why I hate New Year’s. I don’t like the idea that on this particular night everything has to be perfect. That this night has to make up for all the screwed up days and nights of the whole year. That you gotta have fun, even if you don’t feel like it.
I can’t wait for 2016.
2015 wasn’t my year. I’m glad it’s over. So I’m celebrating. I opened a bottle of wine, I am all dressed up and maybe I’ll even dance.
Wine & indifference. That’s my party. I am seeing 2015 off with joy.