It seems like ages ago since I last posted anything substantial on here.
It’s been a year since I started this blog and my life seems to have changed so much it’s sometimes hard to believe it’s my life. The most important thing that changed is this: I always wanted a creative job, I wanted to be paid for writing and now I am. I don’t want to boast or anything but my current job is the best job I could possibly ask for in this stage of my life.
It has one downside though: I don’t write. At all. In my spare time I mean. Writing is now my job, not a hobby. I sometimes find the time and muster the leftover creativity and write a couple of paragraphs, but I never finish anything.
I want this to change. It took me by surprise, writing for money. Moreover, writing not about my thoughts but commercial texts. I guess that requires even more creativity, because those words don’t naturally spring from within you.
This writing thing isn’t the only thing thats’s changed. I changed. Not entirely, but my thoughts… they are a lot different. I feel this change every single day. I learned a lot about myself in the last weeks and now I feel like I need to take this knowledge and apply it in my new writing.
I simply can’t neglect what I so dearly loved to do – writing for pleasure, not money.
I learned a lot about people in the last couple of weeks too. I meet many people in these days and these people taught me a great deal about myself as well. I want to write more about people, less about myself. I want to write about little things. I still want to philosophise about life, but not in great big picture. I want to see things as they are, rather than how they should, could or would be.
(By the way, do you get what I’m saying? Because I’m slowly losing my point.)
I got stuck in my own thoughts. So let me just finish this off by saying: Whoever read my most recent posts knows that I didn’t have much happy or cheerful things to say. That was my therapy then: to cope with everyday crap by crying my heart out loudly and eagerly and putting it down on “paper”. Nothing wrong with that really.
But, I have a new theory. Writing about my dark thoughts won’t really help me. I want to write about things that would remind me that this life is f***ing great. And our time is massively running out so we’d better realise sooner than later that we only waste time dwelling in negativity. I don’t want to write about nothingness and senselessness and trivialities. And I don’t want you to read it. x