Reconsidering friendships

You grow up. You change. You get estranged with people who were once close to you. You wonder why.

Sometimes even, you wonder why they were in your life in the first place. What was the reason for them to be there. Sometimes there simply isn’t one.

You wonder whether it is you who’ve done something wrong. Or rather, you wonder what went wrong. But friendships aren’t machines. You can’t identify the faulty component of it and repair it. You can’t just mend everything.

Recently I drifted apart with three of my friends. I really miss two of them, the other one not as much, but it’s still sad. Our paths went different ways. We all changed. You know the story: life got in the way.

Becoming an adult is not only one of the most complicated processes you must go through in life, it is also one of the most cruel ones. It gives you much, that is for sure, but it takes from you more you could ever imagine. More you were ever prepared for. People tend to take things for granted when they are young, but you need a slap from reality: good things don’t come easy in life and even when they do come – you must work hard to maintain them. To tresure them or they might be gone before you can even say Indiana Jones.

Making friends is not easy. Making aquaintances is easier: you meet lots of interesting people that you like and you enjoy spending time with, no doubt about that. But a real friend is hard to come by. To find a person with whom you click, with whom you can share your thoughts, and most importantly – whom you can fully trust is a very tough mission. I am sure such people come to your life maybe less times than you can count on the fingers of your one hand. And even the small number of friends I’ve got grows thinner and thinner as I grow older.

It is only normal that some friendships don’t last. You grow up and you are not the same person you once was. You change and even if it is a positive change your friends might not keep up with you. You wonder why but you realise you will never find that out. It’s life. It happens. I know.

It just hurts sometimes.


7 thoughts on “Reconsidering friendships

  1. There’s another consideration, I think. A friendship, like any relationship, requires time and effort. People who have a hundred (or a thousand or more) Facebook “friends” don’t have that many real friends. It’s impossible. Better a dozen friends in real life, than a multitude of clicks on a page.

    And of course, we do change. I can think of many people I used to share a good bit of time with, and enjoyed, whom I never see any more. It is the way of life, but here’s another truth I’ve found: I’m never bored when by myself, so why should I allow myself to spend time with people who bore me to tears? That’s not a judgment on them — they usually are perfectly fine people who get along famously with others. But holding on to a relationship “just because”? Maybe not so good.

    Liked by 1 person

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